Thursday, January 1

ITM's 2009 Wish List

While most of red sox nation is trying to figure out how many beverages they consumed last night, ITM put together a quick wish list for some of the Red Sox members in 2009. While most of the list is merely wishful thinking, we expect all of you to read this, knock on some wood, take your hulk hogan vitamins, and pray that 25% of them come true.....

Josh Beckett: Get healthy, get in shape, revert back to the JB of 2007 and in a word: Dominate.

Jon Lester: Prove to the world that you're here to stay and establish yourself as one of the best lefties in the game. You'll see amazing money as a result.

Dice-K: Don't throw out your arm by tossing 30 innings in 4 games for Japan during the WBC. I'm impressed with the pride, but let's think long term here. I would be happy with a repeat of the 2008 season (minus about 100 walks).

Tim Wakefield: Continue to eat innings, stay healthy, and use Just For Men.

Brad Penny: Lose the beer gut and get back to your 2006/2007 form. Be a solid number 4 starter and reach those contract incentives.

Manny Delcarmen: Turn your flashes of brilliance into consistent play. Make Hyde Park proud.

Pap: You're a father now, don't go soft.....I expect more stupid quotes, strikeouts and dancing.

Tek: Turn back time....for a lot of reasons.....and teach the hell out of a young catcher who is yet to be acquired.

Ortiz: Less jewelry, more taters....and maybe a few new handshake routines with Pedroia.

Youk: Keep improving....Mark Teixeira is your new best friend (for the money you'll get) and your worst enemy (as a Yankee and fellow all-star first basemen).

Pedroia: Keep yelling ridiculous things at anyone and everyone (including Jerry Remy). Move into the team captain role as Tek continues to lose it. Is wishing for back to back MVP awards from someone who is 4'7" completely ridiculous?

Lowrie: Keep Lugo off the field by any means necessary: play flawless defense and hit over .200 (well, if we're wishing, hit over .300, but .200 and good defense will keep Lugo off the field)

Lugo: Be happy that you're ridiculously overpaid.

Lowell: Get healthy and show us all why we should have been happy keeping you all along. (hit .285 with 25 home runs and 100 rbi)

Jason Bay: Keep doing what you're doing and sign a long term deal to stay in Boston. Put up .300, 30 and 110 to keep this offense moving....and the pressure off of Theo to sign another bat.....and strike out less for god's sake.

Jacoby: No pressure...just make the appropriate adjustments and return to the Jacoby we saw in the 2007 pressure.

JD: Stay healthy so we don't have to use our non existent 4th outfielder too much. Become a back to back threat with Bay....and develop a personality so Pedroia can make fun of you more.

Theo: You're smarter than all of us, we trust you. Don't give us a reason to question that.

All that said, here's to a good that is sure to keep ITM busy.


Anonymous said...

Lugo...kill yourself

Soxin09' said...

Can we also wish for a Heidi Watney 2009 calendar? Think of the potential revenue...

Dale Sams said...

Lugo had a great 2007 ALDS and had a .500 OBP in the World let's can the 'Lugo...kill yourself' talk.

Rich V said...

Dale - you must be kidding with your pro Lugo comments. I am all for being homers but let's get serious. The fact you brought up the alcs numbers like that makes his time here a success is a joke. The "kill yourself" comment can be disputed but anyone talking lugo has heard that notion in a joking fashion. What's with Dale the moderator Sams anyway. With all due respect to ITM and the writers - from now on I am "canning" Mr. Sams and his constant bicker. ITM keep the creative writing coming.

ITMGal said...

While I don't think telling anyone to kill themselves is good, I would like to note that every time a baseball comes near Julio Lugo (either in the batter's box or at shortstop), I feel instant sadness before anything even happens. I agree that we should keep him off the field for the emotional health of Sox fans everywhere...

Dale Sams said...

While I could go my entire life without seeing Lugo in A Sox uniform again, and not lose any sleep over it. My point (obviously) is that he should be recognized for his superb contribution to the 2007 World Series. Or have Sox fans become so spoiled that players only get ONE years grace before the call to 'please kill yourself'gets thrown out there?

As someone once said: "Who died and made you Mark Bellhorn"?

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