Monday, May 10

Shots of Whiskey and Cheap Cigarettes

Vicino crossed the pond to visit the memorial site of his favorite WWF star of all time, the British Bulldog, and he left me in charge of ITM. I've been instructed to keep up with the Sox on a daily basis and avoid potential litigation at all costs; the first request isn't a problem, the second not so much.

One of my favorite activities is coming up with documentary titles for a teams season in review dvd, example "The 2007-2008 Celtics, the drive for 17!", or "The 1993 Dallas Cowboys, I Can't Believe We Did that Much Cocaine...and Beat the Buffalo Bills Again". Last year my roommates and I rallied around "The 2009 New England Patriots: Tony Banta Cain's Quest for Double Digit Sacks". We called it 'The Quest' for short, and despite the beat down the Ravens gave us in the playoffs, the season was a success as Tony Banta Cain fulfilled his destiny and reached double digits sacks.

With that said, I've been thinking about what the 2010 Red Sox should consider naming this years dvd based on the first 5 weeks of the season. Here are a few ideas I'm kicking around before I approach the public relations department:

  • The 2010 Boston Red Sox: The search for Beltre's Cup
  • A Bridge to the Off-season: The 2010 Boston Red Sox
  • A Bill of Goods: What the 2010 Red Sox Sold and the Nation Bought
  • The 2010 Boston Red Sox: No Offense in the Champagne Room
  • Pitching, Defense and a Little League Dream: Your 2010 Boston Red Sox
  • 25 Way's to Spend $170 Million on a 3rd Place Team
  • Pedey's Laser Show at the Planetarium: The 2010 Boston Red Sox
  • Just Call the Rays Are Our Daddy's: The 2010 Red Sox
  • Steroids, They Weren't on Them: The 2010 Boston Red Sox
  • JD Drew Plain and Tall: Your 2010 Boston Red Sox
  • The Streak Continues: Owners Sell Out Fenway...and Real Fans
  • Faith Un-Rewarded: The Story of the 2010 Boston Red Sox
  • Where the F is Jimmy Fallon I feel like Smacking Someone Silly: The 2010 Boston Red Sox
  • I Would Rather Pass A Kidney Stone then Watch This, So Mike Cameron Did: The 2010 Red Sox
  • 99 Problems and David Ortiz is at least 14 of Them: The 2010 Boston Red Sox
I'm thinking of directors cut where Curt Schilling talks about absolutely nothing anyone cares about for 45 minutes and then that director kills himself. With any luck we can Ben Affleck to direct, his best days are well behind him...

Voting will begin later in the week and we'll submit the top 3 to the board of directors for final submittal to the Boston Red Sox.Thanks and as always, we'd love to hear your suggestions.

I've got five large on the Bruins tonight, so if they don't win this will definitely be my last post for a while as I head for the mountains along the Afghanistan/Pakistan boarder.


Anonymous said...

25 ways to spend 170 million on a third place team. Hands down.

Also, try to find Bin Laden while you're over in the tribal regions.

ITM-Vicino said...

Dude, growing up, you were all over the British Bulldog's jock. That said, I swear I've seen him four times already when walking the streets of London.

...and how can anyone not go with JD Drew Plain and Tall? We should make T-shirts of that shit.

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